Lesbian women in China: when the family pressure leads to marriage of convenience

Temps de lecture : 10 minutes

Lesbian women in China: when the family pressure leads to marriage of convenience

03.12.2020

Annaëlle PANELLA

Even though China has a History where homosexuality is largely mentioned, the Cultural Revolution under Mao, along with the current Chinese government made homosexuality taboo. Homosexual people in China then experience difficulties, sometimes religious, in remote provinces but mostly through Confucian principles. The filial piety, which is prominent in it, creates a real pressure within families, especially in the scope of marriage. Women, who in this ideology are above all wives and mothers, are the first affected by this pressure. Being a woman and a lesbian can then turn out to be even more difficult, often pushing the latter to marry to suit their families’ expectations. In addition to the marriage of convenience, many of them have recently been victim of a breach of privacy following the data disclosure of one of the biggest lesbian online dating websites. They are also more easily prone to domestic violence than heterosexual women. However, mentalities are evolving, making the public opinion more favorable towards the legalization of same-sex marriage. Could this legalization put an end to marriages of convenience?

A past open to homosexuality, swept away by the Chinese communist regime

China is one of the four oldest civilizations with a rich History of five millennia. Contrary to what one may think, its past is tolerant and open to homosexuality. Indeed, over the centuries, some emperors preferred having same-sex partners. For example, Emperor Al of the Han dynasty had Dong Xian as his favourite. Their story is very popular in China. One day, Dong Xian fell asleep on the Emperor’s sleeve. To not wake him up, the Emperor cut off his sleeve to be able to stand up. “To cut off the sleeve” or in Chinese « Duan Xiu, 断袖” then became a synonym of homosexuality in this country. We thus find in Chinese poetry of the 9th century – the golden age of Chinese literature – love poems where it is difficult to know if they are aimed at a woman or a man. Finally, The Dream of the Red Chamber, written by Cao Xueqin in 1791 – one of the greatest novels of classic literature in China – mentions homosexual relationships.

Yet, today, many Chinese people consider that homosexuality is a concept that comes from the outside, partly from the Western world. Very taboo in China, it is difficult to pronounce the word homosexuality (Tóng Xìng Liàn, 同性恋) as the term is considered too extreme. Instead, Chinese people prefer to speak of « friendship » (Tóng Zhì,  同志). Lesbians are therefore called « Nv Tóng Zhì, 女同志» (female friends). In other words, the nature of their relations is explicitly denied. Another term is also used for lesbians: it is the term “La La” derived of the sound of the first syllable of “Lesbian”. The use of these expressions is an indicator of the established taboo during the Maoist period which criminalized homosexuality during the Cultural Revolution in 1949. Homosexuals were persecuted just like rich farmers and rightists.

Decriminalized in 1997, homosexuality also stops being considered a mental illness in 2001. Meanwhile, same-sex marriage still remains illegal. China, under the influence of its authoritarian regime, is in the era of “don’t ask, don’t tell”, in other words: some subjects such as sexuality must remain private. Furthermore, the Chinese government censors in the media each content that it considers “sensitive”. An official circular dating from 2016 indicated that: « no TV series must show sexual relations and anomalous behaviors, such as incest, same-sex relationships, sexual perversions, sexual harassment, sexual assault or violence^[1]AFP, Chine : malgré une victoire, l’homosexualité reste absente des écrans, Challenges, 19.04.2018 : … Continue reading”. Leaving aside the fact that China cannot have access to Instagram or Google, both censored by the government. Finally, homosexuality is illustrated in many books as being perverse.

The difficulties of being homosexual in China: the role of Confucianism in family pressure

Although some big cities such as Beijing and Shanghai tolerate more and more the LGBT community, it is still having a hard time acquiring visibility in the most remote areas. Indeed, social media is used less, and the conservative principles of religious minorities add up to the traditional view of the Chinese family. Thus, these phenomena contribute to slowing the mores’ evolution down in small cities.

Nonetheless, no matter the region, it is very hard for a LGBT person to come out of the closet to their close relations: “Less than 15% of homosexuals indicate having revealed their sexual orientation to their families and more than a half of those who did it esteem having subsequently suffered from discriminations^[2]Quote from the article: « Chine. Mariage pour tous : les mentalités évoluent lentement » written by Courrier International, having translated the article written by J.P: « Chinese … Continue reading” according to the study of the Sociology Department of the University of Beijing in 2016. This difficulty is directly linked to cultural context, in which family pressure is omnipresent.

This pressure comes, for the most part, from Confucianism, a term that does not really have an equivalent in Chinese. Confucianism, which name originates from its author Confucius, is both a political ideology, a so-called scholarly tradition but also a way of life. Sometimes, it is even considered as a religion. The Chinese population has been following these principles for two millennia. In Confucianism, homosexuality is not seen as a sin, but it cannot be completely lived because of one of the most important Confucian values: filial piety (« Xiào, 孝 » in Chinese).

Filial piety is the first step in order to meet moral excellence. This piety is centered on respect for parents and ancestors. Thereby, obedience towards its family and the preservation of family honor are central in the Chinese thought. The achievement of this piety is based on the obligation to marry, to start a family in order to perpetuate the name of the ancestors but also the superiority of men towards women. This patriarchal view has clearly a significant impact on women, and even more on lesbian women.

The difficulties that push to marriages of convenience, in particular among lesbians

The post-socialist period in the 1970’s has developed some aspects of capitalism in China, thereby leading to a resurgence of patriarchal values. The combination of Confucianism and postsocialism has constrained women even more to start a family quickly. A rather paradoxical situation as this capitalist momentum doubled with the one-child policy, has enabled women to study more. Indeed, families only had one child to perpetuate the family’s honor. If the child was a girl, she had to succeed and take over the family business. The consequence of this policy helped women in China to reach positions with more responsibilities, increasing their emancipation and independence.

Nevertheless, to make sure that they remained loyal to the tradition of marriage, the Chinese society has simultaneously established a culture of fear. A concept was then created for women who had went over a certain age (between 27 and 30 years old): it is Sheng Nu (剩女), literally translated by “the ones that remain” or more pejoratively “the ones that we do not want”, thus developing feelings of shame for single women. However, marriage pre
ssure – which also exists among men – occurs earlier among women because of their “biological clocks”.

It remains difficult to escape from being a woman, a future wife and especially a future mother in China, in particular when you are a lesbian. Indeed, by fear of deceiving their families because of their sexual orientation, lesbians often feel obligated to marry to hide better. Besides, some families who discover the truth force them to marry so that it will not be known by those close to them and therefore preserving the honor. As a result, there is, in China, a phenomenon called XingHun (形婚) which could translate to “cooperative marriages”. It is simply a marriage between a gay man and a lesbian woman. Thereby, this marriage of convenience enables to satisfy the respective families while allowing them to live on their own with their sexual orientation.

This solution is therefore widely adopted, in particular by lesbian women. Indeed, according to a study of the University of Qingdao in 2012, 90% of homosexual men in China are married to women who do not know that their husband is gay, which can be very difficult to live on both sides. For the ones who choose cooperative marriage, they favour online dating websites to get in touch. The most important website regarding these arranged marriages is ChinaGayLes.com which currently states having around 500.000 users and contributed to 54.000 unions^[3]Figures from the website itself: https://www.chinagayles.com/. 

These sham marriages are not looked on with a favorable eye by everyone, especially by some activists of the LGBT cause who state that if homophobia is still strong in China, it is because few heterosexuals know openly gay people. According to them, cooperative marriage is an effective way to hide themselves and benefit from heterosexual privileges (such as social acceptance or the ease of finding housing for example), consequently reducing the visibility of the LGBT community in China and leaving the people who do not wish to marry facing this pressure alone.

Lesbians also prone to the exposure of their private life and domestic violence in China

Hidden thanks to their marriages, many lesbian women take advantage of the opportunity to meet people more serenely. As it is very difficult to seduce in public, women favor once more online dating websites such as Rela, Lesdo, etc… For that matter, Rela has been censored by the government in 2017. The application came back one year later and now counts 5 million users. If this may seem like a progress, the database has been strangely exposed soon after its reappearance (the stated reasons were that the server did not had a password) consequently disclosing the private life of all the people that were using it.  

Thus, personal data has been publicly exposed such as their pseudonym, their birth date, their sexual preferences, but also their weight and even sometimes their geolocation. In a country that lives with the social credit^[4]The Chinese government established in 2014 a “social credit system” (“shehui xinyong tixi”). This system assigns a number of points to its citizens. When a person does not behave in … Continue reading and family pressure, the consequences can be terrible. Indeed, there are no laws protecting people from these discriminations. In that case, a boss can fire an employee if they discover she is a lesbian.  

Add to this problem the domestic violence that lesbian women are subjugated to. The report carried out by the UNDP and the USAID in 2014 showed that between 2007 and 2009, half of the surveyed lesbians had suffered from physical violence from their close relations or their same-sex partner. Around 70% have suffered from psychological violence. Compared to heterosexual women, lesbians and bisexual women are 25% more exposed to violence. Additionally, only 55% of them allow themselves to ask for help in comparison with 84% of heterosexual women. When they have the courage to talk about it, they do it, for the most part, to their friends and the LGBT community, but hardly ever to formal institutions such as the police, by fear to see their identities disclosed. Moreover, law-enforcement officers are not very trained regarding the themes relating to sexual orientations and genders, which does not encourage victims to express themselves.

Conclusion: a slow but significant progress of mentalities in one of the most open Asian countries regarding homosexuality

China still has a lot to do for mentalities to evolve and for women to be able to feel fully fulfilled, especially lesbians. It is undeniable that the authoritarianism of the government doubled with the weight of the family is slowing this evolution.

Yet, it is important to highlight that China remains one of the most open Asian countries regarding homosexuality. Furthermore, even if it takes time, we can clearly see progress taking shape, whether it is regarding mentalities or also culturally and even legally. Indeed, when the website Weibo (the equivalent of Twitter in China) announced in 2018 the withdrawal of LGBT contents, it sparked off a wave of uproar with the #IamHomosexual. This matter had such repercussions that the People’s Daily – which is none other than the official organ of the Chinese Communist Party – published an article in favor of the acceptance of homosexuality which led to the removal of the ban set up by Weibo.

The same year, there was for the first time an openly gay movie in the Chinese movie theaters: “Looking for Rohmer” by Wang Chao, a French-Chinese co-production transcribing the love between a Chinese man and a French man, which was largely broadcasted in China. Even though some scenes were removed in this country, which made the relation between the two protagonists hazy (for example, the kiss scene was censored), its appearance in the Chinese movie theaters is a significant progress.

Furthermore, one can notice the development of feminist and LGBT non-profit organizations within China that struggle against the marriage pressure as well as sham marriages between homosexual people. The increased visibility of LGBT people thanks to these non-profit organizations establishes a more conducive climate for celebrities who dare to come out of the closet, such as Jacky Chan’s daughter, which can encourage in turn Chinese LGBT people to do the same.

Families also start to become more tolerant concerning homosexuality, especially the new generation of parents. Indeed, 35% of parents born before 1970 say that they would reject a homosexual child against only 9% of people born after 1990. A quite encouraging phenomenon has also come to light in Shanghai in 2017: a group of mothers started participating to the “marriage market” while displaying rainbow umbrellas in order to find a same-sex partner to their gay or lesbian child. Despite the fact that they have been constrained to leave, this initiative caused a sensation in the entire world.

From a legal point of view, some recent decisions agreed with this greater openness. Thus, a psychiatric hospital was condemned for subjecting a gay patient to a “treatment” via pills and injections that were supposed to cure his homosexuality. But the biggest legal decision that there has been – and which still has a big influence on mainland China – remains the legalization of same-sex marriage in Taiwan in 2019. Even if the official media have made sure to silence the debates around this l
egalization, the Chinese Twitter Weibo had been the source of thousands of positive reactions. For some, it is a real hope that comes to light as Chinese people who are younger than 35 are mostly in favor of same-sex marriage.

All these elements provide us with several points of reflection. Rather than wondering if homosexual marriage will be legalized or not, let’s try to imagine what would be the consequences if it is finally authorized in China in the coming years. To what extent would the Chinese mentalities be likely to evolve regarding filial piety? Could it be satisfied with same-sex marriage? After all, there is still a well-established significant point in the Chinese culture: the necessity to perpetuate the name of the ancestors by having children. This question arises especially among lesbians as this is the main role of the woman within the Confucian thought. Would marriages of convenience be reduced, or would they still exist, not because it is primordial to get married, but because it would remain imperative to have a progeny?

Sources

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Pour citer cet article : Annaëlle PANELLA, “Femmes lesbiennes en Chine : quand la pression familiale pousse au mariage de convenance ”, 03.12.2020, Institut du Genre en Géopolitique.